Various Formats - Mortal Kombat

Various Formats

Mortal Kombat

Oh, come on. It had to happen eventually. I had to cover one of the most controversial, bloodthirsty games of all time, the game that infuriated a whole generation of clueless parents. The game that pretty much invented the "Death Move", brought blood and guts to be standard fare in video games, and really kicked off what was just the beginning of increasingly violent digitised beat 'em-ups across all available formats.

But no-one, except Midway, made decent ones. Pretenders all were the likes of Survival Arts, Street Fighter: The Movie, Time Killers (OK, not digitised, but riding on the crest of the violence wave), Kasumi Ninja, Way of the Warrior and Vicious Circle. Mortal Kombat and its sequels seemed to be the only games of this type that really WORKED, that didn't come across as a gimmicky load of old tripe.

Right, enough of this, let's dive in.

The arcade version came along first; 7 characters, a fairly standard moveset for each (except for the specials, of course), and a back story that spawned a million (approx) fan stories and ran deeper than Advanced Lawnmower Simulator. Let's touch on that quickly (it gets more and more complicated as the series expanded), basically there is the Earthrealm and the Outworld or some such place, where there exists a fighting tournament, which some guy called Shang Tsung has corrupted. Thanks to his meddling, there now exists a rule where 10 victories in a row for Outworld would result in the Earthrealm being overrun by Shao Khan's Outworld forces. How marvellous!

Naturally, of course, it falls to the fighters of Earthrealm to stop this, especially since last year was victory number 9...

So, the characters first of all: they're a varied bunch, a couple of Ninjas, the token Bruce Lee-alike, a God of Lightning, a film star, a mercenary and a woman. Each of them has the standard moveset, which is high and low punches and kicks as standard, the leg sweep, the big uppercut, the overhead throw and a roundhouse kick. Without special moves, each character would actually handle identically.

But there ARE special moves, although usually only 2 or 3 per character. Johnny Cage, Liu Kang, Kano, Rayden and Sonya all have a "Fireball" move (ok, it might be lightning or a knife, but the effect is the same), whilst Scorpion and Sub-Zero have slightly different moves... Scorpion has a harpoon, which, on successful impact, he uses to drag the enemy in close, briefly dazed, for either a throw or an uppercut for best results. Sub-Zero uses an iceball, freezing the opponent on the spot, again with chance to get in close for a throw or an uppercut. Be careful, though, attempting to freeze an already frozen opponent will result in a "Double Ice Backfire". Oooh, nasty.

Other special moves tend to be something like a "teleport" punch or kick variant, or Johnny Cage has the "Package Check" punch, which is good for a laugh. But the big part of the game was without doubt the fatalities. That's right, upon winning your second round, you were commanded to finish your opponent, a swift joystick combination from the correct place on the screen would result in some kind of bloodthirsty finishing move, which caused outrage in some anti-video game circles, but then again, so did most games, so maybe we can't pay too much attention to that.

Your game would consist of beating each opponent in turn, then a "Mirror Match" against yourself, followed by 3 "Endurance" matches where you must beat 2 opponents. Then comes the big guy, Goro, a huge 4-armed half-human half-dragon who is not at all easy to beat, and then the final boss, the fireball-spamming Shang Tsung himself. Occasionally you'll be asked to "Test Your Might" against a variety of substances, starting with wood and going up to diamond, this little sub-game was a button-bashing frenzy to build up the power and strike. A nice little diversion, there.

You know, I'm going to be brutally honest here... Without the death moves, Mortal Kombat would probably have never "made it", there wouldn't have been a sequel, there wouldn't have been a film, and there certainly wouldn't have been so much fuss about what is mostly a fairly "average" beat 'em-up.

Hold on though, there is more... Y'see, Mortal Kombat was a sneaky and deceptive game, in that there were a few little tid-bits to deliberately keep surprises coming. First of all, on occasion a Green version of Scorpion and Sub-Zero would drop down before a match, give you a little bit of information, then jump away again... This was Reptile, and he was a hard-to-reach secret character. Once you got the clues, you then needed a little luck to find and face him anyway. You needed to fight on the Pit stage, with shadows going across the moon (I seem to remember this was a 1-in-64 chance every time you reach the Pit level), win with 2 flawless victories, no blocking, and do your fatality. Until you find that Reptile is a faster enemy combining Scorpion AND Sub-Zero's special moves, which makes him very hard to beat. But still, word of mouth spread news of his existence.

Another rumour was that of more hidden characters, such as Ermac, this was in fact just the name of a counter for "Error Macros". But still, it led to false counters being introduced in subsequent Mortal Kombat games in the future.

But it was the death moves, the fatalities, that everyone wanted to see. Still my personal favourite was Sub-Zero's Head-and-Spinal-Cord-Removal, though Kano's Heart-Rip was also good. Liu Kang's was crap, though, basically a somersault kick and an uppercut, leaving no clue that the opponent was actually dead, except for the big "Fatality" bonus, that is.

Uppercutting your opponent on the pit stage would cause them to fall onto a bed of spikes, ironically Reptile's lair, which was always nice.

So, the arcade game was superb, how were the conversions handled?

The SNES version was heavily censored, and removed blood (instead replaced with "Sweat") and changed several of the death moves to less "gruesome" moves. However, it still played really well, which is always a good thing. The Megadrive version started out with no blood, but had two codes to activate it again, which of course, everyone did. Despite some slight compromising on the graphics, it retained the speed and action of the arcade game, enough to compete with the SNES, so simply for the fact of the added gore, the Megadrive version just about trumps the SNES here, although you NEEDED a 6 button pad for complete control.

The Amiga version was absolutely superb. It SHOULDN'T have worked, especially with only one fire button (I can't remember how it was done myself, but I promise you it worked perfectly), but the game was outstandingly good, and probably the most graphically impressive of all the 16-bit versions, but with disk loading times, and obviously getting used to the 1-button system, the Megadrive version would still win out, just about.

However, the PC version was ARCADE PERFECT, except for the music which was probably better. Of course, you can just play it in MAME now, but without doubt, if you're going to find a home version, the PC is the one to go for. Although with it being DOS based, you might have a few problems here and there.

The MK series got better, though, and even progressed into 3D, but the original game will always hold a special place in my heart. It's just a shame my heart is in Kano's hand and I'm on the floor. D'oh.

The Best in Copy Protection

The Best in Copy Protection

Y'know, I remember the good old days. When games were nice and cheap and no-one really copied them. Well, they did, of course, but not in the same way they are now. Y'see, one of the most valid arguments pro-piracy (and believe me, I'm NOT pro-piracy, I just agree with this particular train of thought that games are too expensive, and that encourages piracy) is that each copied game is not REALLY a lost sale, it's a sale the developer was never going to have, and instead they get free word-of-mouth advertising if their game is really good. It's a weak argument, sure, but it's one that makes me think, "The Pirates have a point".

Anyway, my point of view is that if a product is worth buying, and I can afford it, I'll support it. I've done it with Shareware, and had no complaints about doing it. So, if a developer comes up with something novel or interesting to frustrate pirates, then I'm all for it.

Back in the day, the simplest forms of Copy Protection were a case of "Look up the first word on line x of page y". It wasn't much, but it was enough. Obviously the photocopier helped to circumvent that particular form of protection, although in those days a photocopier wasn't quite so easy for Joe Public to find. Things developed over the years... Who can forget Lenslok? Then Code Wheels were introduced (games like Zool and Monkey Island probably most famously), and code books printed on paper designed to be impossible to photocopy (e.g. Worms)

But as things progress, things get more sophisticated. Games became able to detect themselves whether they had been been pirated, or even at risk of being pirated, and refused to run... or perhaps even stranger effects.

Let's also not forget that anti-piracy methods also introduced us to the first PC Virus, the Pakistani Brain virus. Designed to protect a heart-monitoring program from piracy, (or rather track it) it soon spread to the UK and US. It didn't actually do any damage, thankfully, but still people rang the programmers asking for their computers to be "vaccinated" in their thousands.

So here are my favourite anti-piracy or copy protection schemes, and some of them I'd actually really like to see in action.

Code Sheet - Jet Set Willy (Spectrum), Worms (Amiga)
The code sheet was nothing more than a list of numbers (or in JSW's case, Colours), an entry from which would be required on loading the game. Simple, quick and downright straightforward to circumvent by copying the code sheet. Worms made life harder by printing it black-on-black so that you couldn't very well photocopy it, but a dab hand at Excel could copy it within an hour or so.

It's pretty obvious how this works... The game requests the code from Column A, Row X, you look it up and type it in. JSW provides you with a key to the colours and what numbers they represent, which is nice.

Not much more can be said about this. It's as basic as it gets.


Code Wheels - e.g. Zool, Monkey Island (Amiga)
Designed to be overly complicated to copy, Code Wheels were actually a pretty simple concept. The game will show you a picture or something, made of two distinct halves. Take your code wheel, turn it to make that picture. Then read the code from the indicated window. Tap it in, and joy! Your game runs. Get it wrong, and you'll probably get another chance. Get it wrong again and the game will probably reset itself. Annoying, huh? And since the windows are all over the place, it's not so straightforward to calculate their positions. Genius! Oh, did I mention the black-on-black writing used for Zool? Impossible to read! Wahey! At least it was impossible to photocopy.

Actually, not everyone had the foresight to use black-on-black, Lucasarts' code wheels for the Monkey Island games, for instance. 15 Photocopies is all you need. Not something that would put off the serious pirate.

Again, though, this wasn't going to STOP piracy, just discourage it slightly. Anyone with patience could actually copy the numbers in a spreadsheet, if they were that determined to copy a game.



Lenslok - OCP Art Studio (Spectrum)
Ah, one of those things that always gets the little "TM" after its name. I might change my name to Fishsta(TM). Ahem.

Anyway, I remember my mum deciding it would be a good idea to get me a mouse and Art Program for the Spectrum. And you know what, it wasn't bad. But it introduced me to what was probably the best copy protection system I'd ever seen. No, really.

You ask any Retro-head about Lenslok, and they'll tell you what a stupid, crap, unreliable system it was. I personally never had a problem with it, and I found it GENIUS. Take a look in this box here, and you'll notice the red thing. That's the Lenslok "lens".

So, you load your game/art software up, and then you are presented with the first stage of the protection... measuring your lenslok. No, really. You hold the thing up to the screen (fully unfolded) against a large letter "H", and using a couple of keys on the keyboard, adjust the width of it until it matches the length of your Lenslok. Press Enter to move onto the next stage, the "dry run test" stage.

Now you fold the Lenslok so that it resembles a map-reading magnifier. Hold it against the screen, centered on the middle of the "H". The plastic bit in the middle acts like a prism, distorting your view of that portion of the screen. If you look at the screen without the Lenslok, you'll just see a garbled mess, the distorted view through the Lenslok actually makes sense of it, and you should be able to read 2 letters, at this point they should be "O" and "K". Once you're happy with that, keep the Lenslok in place and press enter. Two new letters appear, type them in, and off you go.

So, what were the problems? Well, the idea of measuring your lenslok on the screen was so that the size of your TV or monitor wasn't a problem, but with the limited resolution of home computers, sometimes it was. And, of course, constantly bending plastic back and forth will eventually break it, even if that's what it was designed to do.

It sounds as though I was lucky, really.


Modern day In-Built Copy/Crack detection - Having fun with the Pirates!
Now for my FAVOURITE part. You've done what you can to stop piracy, and it still happens. It always will. It's never going to stop. So make it a game itself, then. Mess with the pirates heads, annoy them, frustrate them, do whatever you can to delay "Day Zero" hacked versions appearing.

It's been going on for a while. Just ask anyone who knows their stuff about Spyro or Earthbound. These used multi-layered protection which worked so that the game would detect unauthorised copies at several points, and cause undesirable operation throughout the game. The game lets you know right away that it knows it's copied (Spyro actually tells you outright, "I'm sorry, Spyro, but you seem to be playing a hacked version of this game..." it really couldn't be any clearer) but crackers persisted and EVENTUALLY beat all the layers, which would include surprises like more and tougher enemies, settings changes and even the famous "crash and delete your savegames" trick.

I could go into great detail about all these, but they've been written about elsewhere and a quick search on Google will find you plenty of in-depth information. But I take great delight in those measures that leave pirates confused as to whether it's a problem with the game or deliberate protection by the developers. Very quickly, here are some of my favourites that I've recently heard about:

Michael Jackson: The Experience (DS)
What could be worse than a generic dancing game cashing in on Michael Jackson's awesome music and dancing skills? How about getting into a game to be treated to the sound of the Vuvuzela over the soundtrack? Yeah, that'll put the pirates off, more than replacing all songs with DJ Otis' "Hey Baby!"

Batman: Arkham Asylum (PC)
But... but... I am BATMAN. I cannot have my abilities taken away, surely? If you're a pirate, yes, you'll lose the ability to Bat Glide. Since there's parts of the game where you HAVE to glide to survive, you'll only get so far before you hit a brick wall. And the best bit? Someone posted on a forum about the problem they were having, only to be told outright, "It's not a bug in the program code, it's a bug in YOUR moral code". Awesome.

ARMA2 (PC)
This one I'd really like to see. Apparently, a new technology called "FADE" was introduced, which basically SLOWLY broke the game. It started messing with the camera, and lowering your weapon's accuracy and power, until eventually they were as useless as pea-shooters. And finally, you get a message, "Original Discs don't FADE". It sounds pretty cool.

Serious Sam 3: BFE (PC)
I have to take my hat off to this one, this is brilliance. And again, this is one I want to EXPERIENCE. The game plays as normal... for about 30 seconds. Just after you collect your first gun, you run into what is now known as the "DRM Scorpion".

This guy looks mean, and is armed with tough claws and twin machine guns. He's fast, too, about 5 times as fast as you. Basically, there's no escape from him, so maybe you should face him head on and kill him before he kills you...

Nope, that doesn't seem to work. Maybe a game of cat and mouse, in and out of cover, get as many hits in as you can?

Maybe you should stop wasting your time, pirate. The DRM Scorpion is immortal. He will persist in chasing you until he kills you. Although apparently you can get through the first couple of levels, the difficulty curve isn't just steep, it's vertical.

Don't worry, though. Even the best gameplayers will get stuck when the second protection system kicks in... all of a sudden you'll look up to the sky and start spinning on the spot. Meanwhile, any bad guys in the area will take this oppurtunity to kill you.

Is that the last of the protection systems? Maybe... maybe not. But the Scorpion alone sounds too awesome to miss. The regrettable thing is that it's tempting for even a non-pirate to pirate the game just to see it. This must be one of the rare occasions where the pirates get more content than the people who hand their money over for a legitimate copy. Maybe not such a wise move?

Commodore Amiga - Rampart

Commodore Amiga
Rampart

Take yourself back to medieval times, when battles were fought by the firepower of cannons from castles and ships, where warriors invaded the coasts to take over the first available stronghold and attempt to work their way over land, looting and pillaging and sacking along the way.

Sounds pretty sweet, huh? Well, actually, Rampart is a pretty sweet game, and it's one of those you can just pick up and play without too much hassle. In fact, that's exactly what you should do. Right now.

OK, it wouldn't be much of a review if I wrote that and signed off at this point, so I guess I should try and sell this to you. The concept is simple. Retain at least one castle after each round of battle to stay alive. To retain a castle, it must simply lie inside a walled-off area.

From the beginning, then... you're given a choice of maps to begin with, Recruit or Advanced. Basic difference is that the battles will start with the harder enemies much earlier if you choose advanced. Let's assume you start with the Recruit level, it'll be easier to explain.

So, we zoom into the first terrain, which is divided about 50/50 between land and sea, and on the land is a selection of castles. Your first task is to choose a castle, around which will magically appear several walls. The next stage is to place your cannons inside the castle walls. You might have noticed that while you were doing this, some ships started appearing in the water... There is a time limit, but more likely you'll have put your cannons down well before that expires.

Then begins the battle, here you must attempt to shoot the ships until they sink. The graphics change from a directly overhead view to a pseudo-3d view, and it's here where you can see the sprites are well detailed and perfectly formed. The boats will fire back at you, destroying your walls (don't worry, it seems the actual castle and cannons are invulnerable), whilst also trying to make landfall. The battles are short, but intense, ending either after only a few seconds, or when all enemy boats are destroyed.

Then follows what is both the most important part of the game, and also the most frustrating... rebuilding. Fail to surround a castle and the game is over (apart from the continue option, but I'll come to that shortly). If you surround a castle but no cannons, you'll have no firepower for the next round, but at least you'll live. Surround more than one castle and you'll get more points, and possibly even more cannons to place on the next round. The pieces are Tetris-like, and can be rotated before being placed. The time limit is kind of tight, though. Don't muck around!

And that's it. Survive long enough and you can take on the next level, fail to surround your castle and you'll get another chance with upgraded cannons (the well-detailed graphics show them developing from typical medieval "barrel" cannons to modern artillery guns!), until eventually it becomes apparent you're just not going to do it, in which case you will probably face execution.

Well, it's not quite it, I suppose... the longer you play, the tougher the game gets. The ships will arrive faster, deploy ground troops faster (they can destroy castles, so you'll need to try and block them off, or you can cannon them), and some ships will fire flaming cannonballs which will leave a fiery crater, over which you can't build during the repair phase. The maps always look pretty simple, but you'll also have more complex building shapes to contend with during the repair stage, making life harder again for you. Also the AI has a habit of perforating your castle walls, rather than demolishing large sections, which makes the crucial rebuilding phase just that little bit harder and more frustrating still.

The game's been ported across many different platforms, PC, GBA, even the Spectrum I believe, but the best version was without doubt the Amiga version. There was even 2-player support, which was actually pretty good fun too. You know what would be good? An MMO version.

It's addictive, it's fast, it's furious, it's frustrating. And it's well worth checking out if you haven't already.

Commodore Amiga - Worms

Commodore Amiga

Worms

Y'know, from time to time, somebody somewhere will come up with a genius new idea. And then, there'll be someone who comes up with someone else's idea, dusts it off and brings it up to date. But people forget about the original, or pretend it never existed.

Take J K Rowling, for instance. Harry Potter is far from an original idea, and borrows so many things from other people's stories (especially Enid Blyton), yet no-one (but me) seems to be able to draw the connection. Especially with the whole "Wizard Chess" thing, which was so blatantly stolen from "Battle Chess" it was unbelievable.

But no matter, it made her lots of money, and I'm sure she's very happy with herself for that. I wish I could do the same thing without any comeback.

Back in the late 90s, though, the fuss was all about one individual bedroom coder, who polished up an old concept of wind, angles and power, the age old game of Artillery Wars.

What's that? You don't remember that? It's kind of like City Bomber... every BASIC programmer worth his salt in the early 80s had a crack at recreating certain concepts, City Bomber was one, Artillery Wars was another. Over the years there's been many well known variations, take the QBasic game "Gorilla", which, once I'd discovered it on the school network, everyone was playing (at least until I discovered the Snake game for PASCAL). Or then there was the shareware game Scorched Tanks, which I think Amiga Format gave away once. What a cracking game that was.

But then along comes Andy Davidson with Total Wormage, "his" concept is snapped up by Team 17, and before you know it, you have a highly successful game on your hands.

So let's say you haven't heard of Artillery Wars, QBASIC Gorilla, or even Scorched Tanks... you probably heard of Worms. Just in cases, let's give you a quick run-down of the basic mechanics of the game.

Traditionally, this genre saw you sat in a gunning station, and you had to choose the angle and power of your shot. You may have hills or a crevasse to shoot over, but normally you couldn't actually move, which left it down to who got the most accurate angle and power quickest. Your shot would tend to travel in a perfect arc, so a good tactic was to start with an angle of something like 85 degrees and full power.

Move on a few years, and to a shareware game called Scorched Tanks. This variation added the ability to move (somewhat limited), and a very wide variety of weapons and shields. Ooooh, yes, this one was a real evolution of the concept, with weapons such as the Mega-Nuke, the Cruise Missile, the Dirt Inverter (or something like that) and the Bouncing Bomb.

Alright, my memory's a little hazy, I may have got some of those wrong. The important bit is it was a MASSIVE advance from the games of old, with some highly enjoyable weapons to play with.

Onto Worms, then. Basically, replace the tanks with Worms, add wind effects and shuffle the weapons about a bit... and there you have it. An all-original concept! Just like Harry Potter and Wizard Chess.

OK, so I'm being facetious, and the thing is I'd have every right to be... if it wasn't for the fact that Worms was so DAMN GOOD. I don't know, there's just something of the X-Factor in there, that certain je ne sais quoi.

Was it the cartoony violence? Or was it the cartoony chipmunk-like voices? Perhaps it was just the straight-up playability. Or shall we say all these things worked together in Synergy, resulting in something better than the sum of its parts. Whilst you could attempt to deplete all your opposition's energy by Airstrikes, or Dragon Punches, you were far better served getting an explosion to knock several opposition worms into the water. Being knocked off the landscape spelt certain (and instant) death, and the slippy, slidey composition of the common worm ensured that being perched atop a hill was not necessarily the best choice of strategic positioning.

Weapons wise, they range from the fairly standard range of Bazookas, Homing Missiles, Grenades & Cluster Bombs, to close range weapons like the Uzi, Shotgun & Dragon Punch, to devastating weapons like Dynamite, the Air Strike, Banana Bombs & the amazing Sheep. There's also more defensive tools such as Girders and the Ninja Rope, and finally the embarassing Prod. Although a selectable weapon in most versions of Worms, in the Amiga version it was hidden and could only be activated by a certain key combination (in true Mortal Kombat style, the combination was to press away from your intended victim twice, then towards them twice).

Take too long and the game enters Sudden Death... all living worm's health drops to 1 point, and the water level begins to rise. The slightest touch of a weapon will kill, and digging your way underground will just minimise your chances of survival.

Another interesting aspect to this game was the terraforming... you could either generate a landscape randomly or enter a code or word to recreate a previous landscape. Or, your random word might provide you with an interesting layout just anyway. Try the code "NAPALM", one I discovered very early on... a great tactical map!

Whilst the original Worms game might be hard to (legally) come by these days, you would only be substituting aesthetic differences by settling for Worms 2 (which was also very popular). But it's worth tracking down given the oppurtunity!

Commodore Amiga - Yo! Joe!

Commodore Amiga
Yo! Joe!

Y'know, some things I'll never understand. The popularity of retro gaming, for instance. No, I understand why retro gaming is popular, but there's certain games I've either never played or never understood the hype behind them. Take Head Over Heels, for instance, or the original Batman game. I've just never got into them as much as apparently most people did.

Then there's the games that I really liked that no-one ever mentions. In all my time of retro-gaming, I haven't heard a single mention of Yo! Joe! for the Amiga, except by myself, and I don't know why. Me and several other of my friends loved the game, having originally been hooked on a playable demo of the first half of the first level... and that's not as bad as it sounds because the levels were HUGE.

Basically, then... you, with or without a friend, must make your way through some big levels of various designs, beating things up along the way. Animation is wonderfully smooth, the graphics are highly detailed, and the controls are simple and easy to learn.

The reason you're in this situation isn't abundantly clear. All you can tell is some evil magic circle wants to cause Joe and Nat (the playable characters) pain and suffering, and so make you fight your way through their domain. Well, it's easy enough to just say "Whatever" to the plot, it could be about being pulled up for not scooping the poop for all I care, as long as the main game mechanic remains as it is, because this is one enjoyable experience from beginning to end.

It wasn't particularly difficult, but you did need to exercise a little brain power here and there and choose when to back off a bit. Attempting to simply plough forward was just a little too dumb and would cause you to die fairly readily. Ducking and weaving a bit delivered far better results.

Magazine reviews were mixed, public opinion was and still is mixed. I would be very interested to know what other people think about this game, so please post your comments below. If you haven't played before I'd say it's worth hunting down for a quick blast.

Most 16bits - Speedball II

Commodore Amiga, Sega Megadrive...
(In fact, most 16-bit formats)
Speedball 2

Think of the greatest team sport in the world (Rugby League, naturally). Completely change the rules, and you’ve pretty much got Speedball 2.

OK, so I just wanted to get a Rugby League reference in there. To tell the truth, it's closer to Handball... But  if Speedball as a sport existed today, it may just about surpass Rugby League as the greatest sporting entertainment you could ever hope to see.

Whilst the first Speedball game descended into relative obscurity, the second game in the series has been widely recognised as one of the all time greats of gaming, and certainly The Bitmap Brothers’ finest moment.

Cutting a fairly short story even shorter, the basic back-story is that the original sport of Speedball was destroyed by greed and corruption, revived as Speedball 2, and onto the scene bursts a new team, Brutal Deluxe. This is where you come in, as their coach and on-field controller.

The basic rules of the game are easy enough, there’s no offside or handball or penalties for violent conduct, simply score more points than your opponent. Points are scored either by putting the ball into the opponent’s goal (worth 10 points), injuring an enemy player (also worth 10 points) or hitting certain target areas around the arena (some are worth 2 points, some have other properties).

You can throw the ball in any direction, you can punch or slide tackle your opponents, or if you’re fast enough you can run around and try to collect some of the bonus items that appear randomly. Coins boost your funds (there’s a shop/training facility you can use between matches depending on which game mode you play), whilst other pickups boost your player’s abilities or even have a temporary effect on the whole team, or opposition team. For example, there’s a power up that makes your team invincible to tackles for 5 seconds, another knocks all the opposition over, another roots them to the spot for 5 seconds, giving you the opportunity to make some easy yards and hopefully score.

Teams consist of 9 players, a goalkeeper and two defenders make up your defence, 3 midfielders sit across your middle line, and 3 forwards for your main attack. The closest player to the ball is automatically selected for your control, which can on occasion be frustrating, but for the most part makes controlling your team a cinch.

 Between matches you can manage your team, building up their abilities using the money you earn from winning and what you may have collected on the field. Whilst the “buildup” method may result in maximum achievable results, it costs a lot as you have to build up the whole team to increase maximum potential. However, you can buy souped-up players (for a price, of course) to give your team a quick boost.

Action on the field is fast and frantic. Whilst trying to collect as much money as possible, you still want to win by as many points as you can, and to this end the arena provides a couple of helpful tools for your use. First of all, there’s the multiplier ramp. Located at either side of the arena, all you have to do is through the ball around it, and your score from that point on is boosted by 50%. Do it again, and it’s boosted by 100%! Of course, your opponent can do the same, but first either one of you must reduce any multiplier the other has to zero. Potentially, you can rack up huge scores if you get the multiplier and play against a crap team where you can just keep on scoring!

There’s also a “Hot Ball” target. Hit this, and the ball becomes dangerous to the opposition for a little while. As long as you’re not caught in possession, you can hurl the ball toward the opposition goal, and watch as they are knocked over by the deadly ball. However, beware that if you are tackled with the ball in hand, the ball becomes dangerous to you instead!

A simple concept, a simple sport, but the playability factor is so high, you just keep coming back for more. You’ll find yourself pushing your skills to the limit to finally beat the likes of Super Nashwan and Lethal Formula, laughing as you brush aside Baroque, injuring their centre forward 3 times in one match, and joining in with the calls of “Ice Cream! Ice Cream!” as the ambulance droids carry his prone body away.

Sport doesn’t get much better than this. If you have never played this, hunt it out and give it a go. It'll be worth it!